6 Tips for Planning College Visits with Your High Schooler
Food for thought if your kid is considering higher education
Last week, my teenage daughter and I visited nine colleges in five days. We learned a few things and thought I’d pass on some of those lessons.
(First lesson? Seeing that many schools — from San Francisco to San Diego, a 1,200-mile round trip — might’ve been a touch aggressive. 🤪 You may want to spread it out over a more manageable time frame.)
A few caveats before I dive in…
First: There is too much frothy anxiety around college admissions.
When our daughter was three (three!), a mom asked us which high school we were hoping to get her into. “That’s the key to getting into a good college,” she told us.
That’s NUTS. And it shows that the “competitive school” hype machine is working overtime. No wonder, by the time college rolls around, many kids and parents are overwhelmed by the pressure.
That pressure is, at best, counterproductive and, at worst, really harmful. I hope nothing I write here adds to the anxiety. My intention is the opposite: to arm you with intel that might make the process more manageable.
Second: College isn’t for everyone.
Plenty of people thrive on other paths: trades, entrepreneurship, the arts, military service, and more. Nothing I write here is a suggestion that everybody should go to college. This is just meant to be helpful if your child is considering it.
The Six Tips
1. Start Saving
OK, this one might raise the anxiety level a bit. But especially for those of you with younger kids, open that 529 plan and start socking money away now.
However expensive you think college is… it’s probably more. A LOT more.
Tuition at my alma mater has increased 716% since I graduated 33 years ago. That’s obscene. And it doesn’t include room, board, books… you get it.
There’s a healthy debate about whether college is “worth it.” Families should think long and hard before taking on huge debt. (I have friends still paying off their student loans.)
BUT — if college is on the table, having some money saved gives you options. Start early and let the money grow with your kid. Maybe they’ll get a scholarship… just don’t count on it.
2. Do Some Early Visits
My daughter is just entering her junior year, so this trip was a little early in the process. But I think there’s real value in seeing colleges before the application pressure kicks in.
The biggest reason? It drives home how important junior year is.
Every admissions presentation we heard said the same thing: Applications are evaluated based on sophomore and junior year grades and achievements.
You could see some rising high school seniors in the audience slink down in their seats: “Wait … my fate is already sealed?!”
It’s also helpful for kids to hear about requirements and extracurricular expectations — from someone who isn’t their parent. If they’re going to act on that info, earlier is better.
It’s not “too late” if you wait … but it can be a strong motivator if they hear the information sooner rather than later.
3. Book the Official Tour
Yes, you can do a drive-through while on vacation. But it’s not the same as the official presentation and tour.
Every school has an online booking system. Plan ahead — tours fill up (we booked ours about six weeks out).
If available, opt for the “tour + admissions presentation.” The admissions folks offer insights the student guides may not have, and it’s good to hear the school’s official pitch.
These visits usually last two hours: 30-minute presentation, 90-minute walk. Leave extra time for parking. (One school recommended arriving 45 minutes early — you had to take a shuttle to the welcome center.)
P.S. Tour confirmations go to your student’s email, not you. They need to be engaged in this process. The confirmation emails are full of important details. Don’t lose them.
4. Try to Go When School’s in Session
Most of our tours were during summer, and the vibe was… muted. Some campuses felt downright sleepy.
Compare that to a visit we did earlier in the year when classes were in session — it was electric. Way more energy, way more helpful.
Summer is convenient, and we still got a lot out of it. But as my daughter said, “For the ones I liked, I definitely want to come back when school’s in session to get a better sense of it.”
Our itinerary included a mix of UCs, CSUs, and privates — some on the quarter system, others on semester. You’ll have to consult the school’s academic calendar to better understand when students are there.
5. Consider How Much to Bite Off
As I said, 9 schools in 5 days was a LOT. Different hotel every night. Not much downtime. Lots of driving.
We had a detailed itinerary — drive times, parking instructions, tour confirmations, the works. (“The packet” saved us more than once.)
Most schools offer morning and afternoon tours, but not all include presentations. And not all run every day; weekend options are rare.
That meant we were doing morning visits at one school, then racing to make the afternoon tour at the next. We made them all… barely. Plan accordingly.
6. It’s Not About You
A friend told me, “The biggest fight I ever had with my mom was on a college tour.” We witnessed a few of those skirmishes. (And may or may not have had one ourselves. 😀)
This process needs to be about the student, not the parent.
Yes, you can ask questions. (My daughter would SMACK my arm every time I did.) But you can tell when the kid isn’t into it and the parent is dragging them around. Not a great look.
Your opinion matters less than theirs. Post visit, I had to resist the urge to comment until she’d spoken. And sometimes, I had to be OK with saying nothing — just letting it marinate.
That’s another perk of doing visits early: there’s time for all of it to sink in.
Despite the frothy competition and exclusivity that schools cultivate, it’s really about fit — finding the place where a student will grow, learn, and thrive.
I truly believe there’s a place for every student — probably multiple places where they could be happy and successful.
My first job out of college was as an admissions counselor, and I used to tell families: “Most students end up where they should be.” Through a mix of fit, intuition, finances, and fate. There is a place. You just have to let the process play out and be open to the possiblities.
So FWIW, that’s my hard-earned wisdom from the road. (It really was a magical trip…and the colleges were only part of it. My daughter and I saw a ton and laughed a lot. Core memories, for sure!)
Friends who are in the thick of this and want more details, drop me a line — happy to chat.
Good luck!
MORE: College admissions is a BIG BUSINESS. Try to keep your eyes on the prize: finding the right fit for your student.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: John Kovacevich is a writer and creative director based in San Francisco.
